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    1. 老爸跳廣場舞竟跳出了婚外情

      推薦人:匿名 來源: 網友推薦 時間: 2015-06-14 14:02 閱讀:
        導語:這次他們鬧離婚的原因是老爸退休后迷上了跳舞,就是晚上露天廣場那種交誼舞。他有個舞伴,最近跟他走得挺近乎的,有事沒事就給他打電話。有時還給我老爸發短信,叫他出去跳舞……

        我今年整40歲,人說三十而立,四十不惑,怎么到了我這樣的年紀,還要為了爸媽的事弄得焦頭爛額呢?老爸是濟南人,年輕時因為工作關系調到了哈爾濱,以后就在哈爾濱安家落戶。老爸當過廠里的工程師,技術好,人也特別寬厚,一起共事過的人沒有不夸他人好的。可是老媽就不同了,哈爾濱本地人,脾氣急躁,吵起架來也驚天動地,會引得七大姑八大姨一大幫人勸架。

        我是家里的老大,下面還有兩個弟弟,弟弟們對大人吵架并不怎么在意,該玩照玩,該鬧照鬧。但我不能,我很小就知道幫老媽搭手干家務活,以免她在忙碌中肝火大動。再大一些,我會和老爸談談心,問大人之間的一些事,老爸會很鄭重地告訴我,他和媽媽之間沒什么大事,就是兩個人脾氣性格不相投,說不到一塊兒去。

        跳舞惹禍 花甲時鬧離婚

        后來,我們姐弟仨都成家立業,也都各自有了自己的孩子,日子過得也還說得過去,按說老爸老媽也都退休了,該知足常樂,好好安享晚年了。可是,讓我們做子女無可奈何的是,退休后爸媽是越鬧越厲害了,前幾天,我風風火火地趕過去,做二老的“家庭調解員”,可調解來調解去也不見效果。

        這次他們鬧離婚的原因是老爸退休后迷上了跳舞,就是晚上露天廣場那種交誼舞。他有個舞伴,最近跟他走得挺近乎的,有事沒事就給他打電話。有時還給我老爸發短信,叫他出去跳舞,比如說“我等你,務必來”“你今晚來好嗎”之類的。我媽哪能容了這些事啊,三天兩頭的吵架。

        我媽說那個女人50多歲,沒有老公,一個人過,平時總跟60多歲老頭跳舞。我媽覺得我爸這是出軌,是對婚姻不忠,非要跟他離婚。我問過老爸,他說也就是和那女的跳跳舞,平時打電話說說生活上的事。他覺得挺聊得來,跟本不是我媽說的出軌。

        調解不成 我成離婚幫兇

        他們平常吵完了,頂多煩幾天也就過去了,但這一次,老媽鬧得特別兇。自己的親生父母鬧到離婚這一步,哪個子女愿意這樣?我總想著我是親閨女,我得兩邊勸著老人,可是妥協了半輩子的老爸這次態度特別堅決,他說:“忍了大半輩子,不想再忍了,這次一定要做個了斷!”老媽呢,態度也很強硬,在她看來,老爸要和她離婚就是和那女人有事。

        最后,她老人家還倒打一耙,說我挑撥老爸與她離婚。老媽不只在家里說,還拿到外面說,惹得周圍都是風言風語。這些我倒不怕,我是真怕爸媽這樣天天鬧日日鬧,萬一鬧出個什么事來怎么辦?他們都是上了歲數的人,怎么就不能好好地安享晚年呢?我是多么希望老媽和老爸能打開心結,有個幸福的晚年……

        李老師點評:

        雨萍說:“這次他們鬧離婚的原因是老爸退休后迷上了跳舞”,表面看是這樣,是跳舞惹的禍,本質是父母的婚姻本身就有問題,把板子打在跳舞身上,打錯了,跳舞只是一個導火索而已。

        從雨萍“很小就知道幫老媽搭手干家務活,以免她在忙碌中肝火大動。”“老媽脾氣急躁,吵起架來驚天動地,會引得七大姑八大姨一大幫人勸架。”這些話可以看出來,父母的婚姻是很早就有問題的。只是爸爸脾氣好忍下了,一忍就是幾十年。

        美國有這樣一個笑話:一對100歲的老夫妻鬧離婚鬧到法庭。法官問他們:“你們都結婚82年了,為何還要離婚?”老頭回答說:“我們都覺得再也沒有生活在一起的理由了,我們的孩子們都死了。” 這是一個笑話,但反應了老年人為了孩子勉強維持婚姻的情況是普遍存在的。

        從近幾年的情況看,中老年人離婚率逐年上升,很多老年人離婚時都說一句話:我忍了大半輩子,現在孩子大了,我不想再忍下去了。這和雨萍爸爸說的完全一樣。從雨萍的敘述看,爸爸是想繼續忍下去的,是老媽的多疑激怒了爸爸,導致爸爸再也忍不下去了。

        我理解雨萍的焦慮,正如雨萍說的一樣,“自己的親生父母鬧到離婚這一步,哪個子女愿意這樣?”問題是:如果父母的婚姻不幸福,為何又要把他們強捆在一起呢?難道白頭到老就是幸福嗎?

        雨萍從小就當爸爸媽媽婚姻的“家庭調解員”,爸爸媽媽維系婚姻已經對雨萍的調解建立了依賴,媽媽有點演戲給雨萍和爸爸看的味道,實際上媽媽是不想離婚的。我建議雨萍不妨來個“撒手不管”,父母的婚姻讓父母自己去解決,解決不了父母自然會來征求雨萍的意見,這時雨萍可以勸父母分開一段時間,讓他們好好冷靜一下。如果父母冷靜思考后決定離婚,做子女的應該支持才對,而不是一廂情愿的把父母勉強捆綁在一起。換位思考,如果自己的婚姻不幸福,父母不準離婚不也是很痛苦嗎?

        婚姻不幸,離婚是對不幸的修正,未必就是一件不好的事。老年人離婚,子女只要繼續照顧好老人就可以了,不必一定要把他們維系在一起。

        把一對經常吵架的老人維系在一起才是容易出問題的,這一點雨萍應該知道。

      贊助推薦

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